Almost failing from the start – myself, my spouse and perfectionism in a marriage

Less than 20 hours after the self loathing realisation and setting a goal to my self tow rite an article here every day, I almost forgot, almost failed from the start and called it quits..

However, here I am writing whatever is on my mind, at this moment, it’s about my spouse, and me, and perfectionism!

I used to say there is an 80/20 percent rule for choosing your life partner, no body is perfect 100%, so if you find someone that’s 80% good, you have to not focus on the missing 20%, because if you fixate on that 20% and try to find it somewhere else you most probably will lose the 80% you already have.

As most people show the best side of them and you don’t see the wrongs till you know them very well, kind of like when you first meet someone.. all people you see you are seeing the beginning phase from, only the ones you actually stay with you will get to know their faults. And that’s what happens when you require your spouse to be perfect.

However, and even though I know all of the above, people don’t always practice what they preach, and I find myself focusing on the bits that annoy me or that are not perfect in my husband’s behaviour and almost toxicating our relationship or in a more dramatic phrasing, staining our love.

Now that I have shared this with myself at least, I will try to dial down the pursuit of perfection howling inside of my brain, will pull up my scale again (you shouldn’t judge people by a scale I know but this is just a metaphor), I will cast a semi blind eye as much as I can on the things that are not wrong yet not perfect, if I could be a totally non judgemental person with everyone on earth (and I am), why couldn’t I be that with my romantic partner?

Ill not dwell on the why, will act on it, and try to succeed.

Another exciting aspect of this personal journey..

11/Dec/2020

Published by Haya Sharani

An employee, entrepreneur, wife, friend, cat-mom, and very interested in mental health and psychology tactics.

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